Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
You’re terrified of stepping outside your comfort zone. You're not alone—this is the biggest and most widely shared fear—that there is something fundamentally wrong with us and therefore are undeserving of success and happiness.
Believing you are fundamentally flawed means you believe there’s something fundamentally wrong, bad or flawed about you. A sense of shame and guilt runs along side this fear and while often unconscious but sometimes conscious, causes internal conflict, stress, and anxiety between what you believe about yourself, your current experience, and what you deeply desire in your life.
The fear of failure runs parallel with a feeling of being fundamentally flawed. Perfectionists, who tend to take failure personally, are a common personality who possess this fear. When they don't succeed, they say, "I'm a failure," rather than "I failed." So it's understandable that new ventures can seem daunting and frightening.
This belief can come from many places, often from early experiences. It can often make us feel alone, exposed, and deeply flawed causing us to withdraw and work privately.
The “Shame Gremlin” of this fear says:
“I cannot expand to my full potential and genius because something is fundamentally wrong with me.”
It tells you to play it safe and stay small - if you fail, at least you will fail small and maybe no one will notice.
One way to shine the light of awareness on this fear and false limiting belief is to build self-efficacy—the belief that you can actually accomplish what you want to do. Start by setting and achieving small goals.
“Tiny Touchdowns,” as I call them.
For example, if you want to be a florist, reach out to one and invite her for coffee. Ask her how she got started, her challenges, her successes, and any advice she could offer. As you succeed at these smaller challenges, bigger goals will seem less daunting, and eventually you will develop the confidence to take the leap you've been dreaming about. Touchdown!
And make an intentional and concerted effort to regularly participate in group activities with business people in your area and/or industry. This will help get you out and about, building confidence and your brilliance!
BNI Meetings
Business After Hours
Local Chamber of Commerce events
Business charity events
LinkedIN and Facebook Groups