Fear of the Burden of Success
Fear of the Burden of Success
You're relatively confident in your abilities, but you balk at the pressure of maintaining success once you have it. You know that your achievements will breed higher expectations, and worry that you won't be able to meet them.
Imposter Syndrome is very common in this fear—that those around you will discover you're not really as talented or competent as they think. Those who fear success often credit their achievements to circumstances rather than to their talent and other assets.
The Shame Gremlin for this fear says:
“I can’t expand to my highest potential because I’d be an even bigger burden than I am now.”
It tells you that being a success will make you not just a burden to others, but an even bigger one. This often is related to family of origin issues – such as your birth order or health issues in the family that impact you.
This barrier is expressed when you have a big breakthrough, then start feeling like a burden. The big breakthrough is a trigger for guilt, which will then cause you to self-sabotage your big breakthrough, shrinking back and staying small. You may justify it by saying things like, “Having money and success is such a burden.” or “People who are successful are unhappy.”
The solution is recognizing this guilt isn’t about you and that you didn’t cause the situation. When you choose not to accept guilt, and rather accept responsibility for your accomplishments, you can become free of this fear.
Here’s a simple exercise to practice regularly:
Think of a recent success– a new client, a new student in your course. It doesn’t matter how big or small.
Write down a list of the skills and qualities you drew on to accomplish it—determination, intelligence, savvy, knowledge, creativity, enthusiasm. If you're struggling, ask a friend for help. Others often see your assets more clearly than you do.
Make this a regular habit— the end of each week or at least after each success. It’s your high-five to yourself, your gratitude to yourself—which we all should do regularly.
As you begin to see your consistent areas of strengths and talents, you will recognize and acknowledge that you are, in fact, very well-equipped to tackle whatever challenges and successes lie ahead, allowing you to stretch confidently towards your bigger dreams and goals.