Fear of Outshining
Fear of Outshining
You know you have it takes and fully believe in your gifts and talents. You may even know in your core that you were born to shine brightly but… “Who do you think you are?”
It’s a sneaky fear and it can raise it’s ugly head just when you’re on the rise. You may have won an award or garnered attention from someone important. You’re super proud of your successes but also notice friends or family pulling away. It stings.
The Shame Gremlin for this fear says,
“I must not expand to my full success, because if I did I would outshine ________ and make him or her look or feel bad.”
It tells you to be successful, but not too successful. Don’t be so successful that you steal attention from others– in the family or group of friends.
What a trap! How can anyone measure how much success and happiness is enough, but not too much?
Unconsciously you will take one of two roads:
1) Turn down the volume of your brilliance by not fully stepping into it and hold hold back on your full potential
2) Or… Not enjoy the fruits of your success
The reality is that you are changing, which is awesome! However, others may not change at your pace or even understand you dreams and goals. And that’s OK. They are dealing with their own fears and may not be as self-aware as you are at this moment in time. Wish them well on their journey. Perhaps they will join you down the road.
Bitch & Burn Exercise:
While I’m more about sending loving thoughts of growth and compassion it can really help to heal the fear of outshining to get the hurtful words and thoughts that were lodged against you out of you.
Using just one piece of paper, write down all the words, labels, behaviors, and actions that have really hurt and bothered you. Every teensy assertion intended to diminish your light.
Then go to a safe place, preferably outside, take a match and burn it!
Watch as the untruths burn and curl in on themselves, ashamed for their part.
Watch the hurt, the pain, and the sadness drift away in the smoke.
And let it all go. Just let it go.
Now, get back on your bright path to brilliance and march on with all that glowing confidence and conviction!